on par parenting

Phew. Life in the South Puget Sound can now return to normal. It’s been a crazy week around here. Great aunts & uncles. Long-lost cousins. nephews. brothers. Lots of laughter. Not enough sleep. Countless trips up and down I-5 to Chambers Bay. Ah, golf.

Admittedly, I am not the uber-golf-aficionado members of my extended family are. I know a birdie-from-a-bogey-from-an-eagle–but I had no idea there was an albatross. Yet even I got caught up in the drama of Sunday on the back nine. Watching, especially, the last three holes. A crazy mix of Up. Down. Leading. Trailing. Shots to within inches and shots a mile wide {well, not a mile, but wide enough to be out of bounds}.

The most insightful moment?

Hours after it ended. Jordan Spieth, in answering a reporter’s question, mentioned that he intentionally hadn’t looked at the leader board all day. All day.

The roars of the galleries at other holes. The start-of-the-day knowledge he was neck and neck {and neck and neck} tied four ways for first. The hot contention for a $1.8 million purse. And he wasn’t looking around.

Nearly two million dollars on the line? How tempting would it be to glance up? Check the score? Ask your caddy? Listen to the crowd?

Don’t.

Don’t do it in golf. And don’t do it in parenting. Our best parenting days happen when our eyes are on our own. When we aren’t comparing our kids to our neighbors’. When we aren’t worried how everyone else in the box store aisle is reacting to our child’s meltdown. When we aren’t contrasting our child’s accomplishments with the list of expectations we’re carrying in our heads.

You may be stuck. You may be unsure. You may be wishing for a mulligan {a love note for another week, yes?}. Everyone’s golf game is different. Everyone’s parenting path is different. And we get ourselves all twisted when we look around at what others are doing–or not. Or what their kids are doing–or not.

Follow Jordan’s rules: Close your ears to the crowds. Keep your eyes from the reader board. Play your game.
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See your next parenting move. Envision the outcome. Confer with your partner, a friend, hey, even your favorite parent coach.

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What have been your Jordan moments? When have you been tempted by distraction? When have you stayed focused? How did it all turn out? I’d love to know.