chocolate pudding moments

sunsetThere is a harmonica playing.

Somewhere, nearby, a neighbor is playing out on their porch. Just as I am sitting watching the sunset on mine.

And it reminds me of chocolate pudding.

The story of The Chocolate Pudding has taken on mythical proportions at our house. It stars my Mom, who has more patience with children than anyone I know. She who has a song or game or distraction or story up her sleeve for every parenting situation.

I was a toddler. My Dad was in med school. The four servings of dessert from the night before had one dish remaining. And my Mom, who defines selflessness, ate it. By herself. But not before she, first, locked herself in the bathroom and, second, lied to get it.  “What you doing?” asked the curious toddler {because, really, why on Earth would the door to the bathroom be closed?}  “Nowthang” replied the voice around the spoon. My mother reasoned that allowing me to roam freely in the apartment unsupervised while she enjoyed the last pudding without sharing a bite was a great idea.

To that I say—brava. Good for knowing you.

We all have it. Pudding. Or playing. Or watching. Things that feed our soul. Things that are important not because we deserve it, or have earned it, or are owed it. Just because. Just because we love it. Savor it. Just because it’s you.

These are the things on our to-be list.

Which is very different than our to-do list. The exercisesleepeatwellflossyourteeth list.

How can you tell the difference between the to-do and the to-be lists? When something is on the to-do list and we to-don’t, it feels like we just got busted. By a favorite teacher. We feel heavy with guilt. But if we skip the to-be list we don’t feel weighted down. We feel hollow. Not grounded. Drifting aimlessly. Not sure of who we are.

Feel familiar?

One of the hard things {and there are plenty} about parenthood is that we spend so much time starring in the role of Parent, that we kinda forget. What do I like? High heels? Pick-up games at the park? Dancing? Late movies? When we surprisingly find a moment or two, {or, gasp! a whole hour!} to ourselves, we look a bit dazed, we don’t know what to do. We have forgotten how to-be.

So this week, on your to-do list, add time to reflect on your to-be’s. What’s your chocolate pudding? Do you get enough? Has it been too long between servings? Grab a spoon. Maybe two. Come sit on my porch. We’ll laugh. Listen. And watch for the stars. Check your calendars for open dates, and keep me posted.





P.S. Does the idea of a to-be list feel great, but a little lost on how to start it? Feel like it would be wonderful to have a map, a guide book, directions to get back to you? Come join us. The online class Return to Me has doors wide open, and class beings mid-October. For all the details and to sign-up, click here. xoxo.

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