Week 7. For a few weeks now we’ve been focusing in on the kids, this week we’re looking at ourselves.
Specifically, at our faults.
I know. Not the most favorite way to spend our time.
It can make a difference. A huge one. With just a little bit of focus on our role in the parent-child dance.
I’m not expecting you to work on all seven. Oh, no. Just pick one. This week. Then once you see how painless it is, and how effective, you can tackle another next week. And then another. But only if you want to.
What’s the list? It has a few of the classics from the age-old list, and a few that are unique to parenting. here they are:
- pride living through our child’s actions & accomplishments
- anger blowing our lid
- sarcasm using this voice as a way to respond instead of empathy
- guilt when our actions are twisted away from our instincts because of self-blame
- envy wishing our kids would be more like those other kids
- adultification expecting our children to behave as adults, just short ones.
Which one is deadliest for you? Which one trips you up the most? Which is the one at the end of the day you hear yourself muttering…ugh…why did I do that again?….I can’t believe I…Maybe it’s one of the top six, but maybe it’s not. If that’s the case, add in your personal one for #7.
Now what? Now we work on it. How? Watch. Breathe. Shift. As you walk through the day, you can feel it building. The need to brag. Or blow your top. Or to do the opposite of what you believe out of guilt.
Watch for it. When does it happen most often? Is there a pattern? Watch as it quietly begins and then takes over. For a few days, watch.
Breathe with it. For the middle part of the week, keep the watching going, then add in breath. Just before you yell, or sneer, or compare, take a single breath. Then say whatever you need or want to say. Don’t stop what was coming. Just watch & breathe.
Shift it. For the last few days of the week, add in change. Say something a little differently. With a different tone. Or a lower volume. Don’t overwhelm yourself by thinking everything has to be hugely different every time. Just a small shift. Added on to watch & breathe.
And by the end of the week? So much less sin. Happy week 7!
So no matter if your deadliest parenting sin is #1, #4 or fill-in-your-blank-#7, or a combo, or a #2 with one child and #5 with another, we’ve got you covered. And inspired. And ready to watch, breathe and shift–so here’s the audio extra, full of even more support and ideas. xoxo. (although, the drive wasn’t five weeks. only five hours).
Want to go back and review?