summer of love 2017 — week 8

Diana Prince has a Lasso of Truth. Clark Kent has a Red Cape. Sam Wilson has Telepathic Abilities. As Wonder Woman, Superman, and the Falcon, we marvel at their superpowers.

And we miss the real superpowers that are being used right at home. By our children. On us.

They have (ba ba ba BA): X-Ray Vision.

Which means they see right through us. Straight past our smiling faces, or kind words, or gentle tone.

Straight through to the heart of what we are actually feeling, no matter how well we think we are hiding it. It might be in the grinding of our teeth, or the twitch of our eye, or the tightness in our shoulders, but there is something that gives each of us away. It is as if we are playing emotional poker—and no one on Earth can detect our bluff but our kids.

And their X-Ray Vision is faster than the blink of any eye. It is so powerful it alters the path of conversations. It is strong enough to create temper tantrums.

And most of the time, we miss it. Our kids employ their x-ray superpower, and we don’t even see it happening.

For me, it was mumbling under my breath. I could hold it together through whatever the issue was, and be sweet just long enough to turn my back. And then, mutter just a few words about what I really thought. Quietly. Really quietly. So quietly they couldn’t actually hear what I was saying. But that didn’t matter. They could see it. X-Ray Vision.

They were on to me. And that meant things were not going to go my way. So, I practiced. Every day. My entire job? To shut my mouth at the end of last sentence, and not let any words leak out. Which meant not allowing those thoughts to register in my mind. Because that is the real change. Anything less would be seen with their superpower.

So this week’s summer of love? Figure out your poker ‘tell’. If you are having a hard time? Ask your kids. They’ll be thrilled to tell you. Then, start noticing it. And when you notice it, notice what you are feeling. And then notice how your feeling is different than how you are trying to act like you are feeling. Then become transparent.

Publicly announce to your kids that you are going to practice changing what you do (which really means changing what you think). Your kids get the new superpower of helping you do that. And you get the power of communicating clearly. “Sure you can watch another episode on Netflix” (followed by the mumbled “even if it beautiful outside and that screen is rotting your brain”), becomes “You know, I’d rather you play outside. You get one show at some point today, you decide when to watch it.”

The kids won’t be the only ones with superpowers.

Now you have a Lasso of Truth all your own.


What’s your ‘tell’? And how did you know? If you’d like, come talk about it on our facebook page.

Want to (re)read weeks 1-7? Week 1 was Doing Just One Thing, Week 2 we practiced Seeing the Invisible Good, and week 3 we got personal, it was All About You. week 4? It’s been a favorite #feelingsbeforefacts. And week 5? a reminder to breathe. Week 6? Seeing the Negative. And week 7? Your Turn to Talk.

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